Abigail (#544)


I got tired of vampire movies a long time ago and was hoping filmmakers got tired of them too, but that was too much to hope for.  And along came ABIGAIL, and this time, our vampire is a teenaged ballerina named, appropriately, Abigail.  She is the daughter of a big time criminal and is kidnapped by an inept gang who have to stay with her in a spooky isolated mansion overnight in order to collect $50 million for her return.  I wasn't sure whether this was intended as a farce, but it is and to me it wasn't a particularly good farce.  I should have known what to expect from the previews, when Abigail says to one of her female captors, "I'm really sorry about what's going to happen to you."  The producers must have paid extra to the blood bank because there is an enormous amount of blood shed and spewed, and I really mean spewed and mostly over others as Abigail pirouettes her little heart away.  And one after the other the gang members are put out of their misery.  I know critics have to be careful how they treat the product.  After all, if they were highly critical of movies, they'd be out of as job quickly, but when 84% give Abigail a thumbs up, you have to believe there's something rotten in Denmark.  Audiences I forgive because they obviously thirst for blood and 88% liked the film. 

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