Old Man @ The Movies

The theater's description of TOGETHER sounded promising. A young couple have reached a point in their relationship that called for a change from their comfortable life in the city, so they move to a house in the country. Their first foray into the woods surrounding the  house finds them falling into a deep ditch, filled with artifacts and they end up getting painfully stuck to one another. And things go from  worse to extreme weirdness. Their relationship is definitely going downhill, and both begin to act irrationally, such as when he arrives at the school where she teaches and they engage in a passionate lovemaking session in the limited confines of a bathroom stall and, you knew what was coming, they get stuck together in a most compromising and awkward position.  And it gets even weirder after that—too weird to write about. I think the writer, director and all associated with this movie need multiple sessions with a psychiatrist or even a long stay in a mental institu...

As I predicted, the movies got worse as the week went on. Three terrible actors inhabit this HOUSE ON EDEN playing the part of paranormals, supposedly continuing to seek new adventures in weirdness, this time investigating a deserted house in the middle of nowhere, and filming their adventure. The male member of the threesome claimed to be a photographer, but handled a camera as poorly as I did when taking home movies years ago, switching scenes so quickly, I was getting an upset stomach. The leader demands they try to communicate with the entity they believe occupies this house, but by that time I didn't care what they did as long as they ended the movie. Stay away from this stinker; its smell followed me out of the theater. Critics agreed: Only 27% gave it a thumbs ups and audiences chose not to rate it.

The movies seem to get worse as the week goes on.  Yesterday's film, OH, HI!, is described as a comedy but it really was not funny. I'd describe it as a sexual drama, maybe tragedy. A young couple, Iris and Isaac,  are driving away for their first romantic weekend together to a rental house in the country. He proposes that he handcuff her to the bed for a new sexual experience and she agrees, but after she is handcuffed, she changes her mind and proposes to do it to him. He allows her to fasten both hands and feet to the bed and in their conversation he admits he's been with other women and she complains that she has thought of him as the only one and leaves the room in anger and hurt. She calls her best friend to help her resolve the situation and Max shows up with her boyfriend or husband. And it goes further downhill from there. I admit I stayed to the bitter end, hoping that something would happen to redeem the picture but it didn't. I also admit that I left THE HOM...

It was obvious from the previews that the theater I was in specialized in horror films, because each preview was filled with screams, discordant sound and terrible loud music. The movie I saw yesterday was of that genre, and may have risen to the new level of bad films, horror or otherwise. THE HOME featured a young man who was expelled from college for bad and destructive behavior and was sentenced to spend several months as a helper in a retirement home, warned that the fourth floor was off limits and was populated by special cases. How could Matt, the young man, resist visiting there after hearing strange  sounds from upstairs? Everyone in the theater knew he should't explore, but this was a horror movie and the task irresistible. You could predict the consequences, couldn't you. I don't have anything more to report. This one hour and 27 minute monstrosity only got 6 critic reviews and all were thumbs up.  Audiences shied away from any reviews. You should be aware that I...

Don't let the movie title scare you off. This is not a frivolous film as the title suggests. It is a serious examination of the awful civil war in Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) years ago, which ended up as a conflict about apartheid by pitting blacks against whites in a nation where, presumably, they got along well at one time. We see the war through the eyes of an undisciplined, feisty, spirited, pretty 8-year-old girl, played by a remarkably talented Zikhoma Bali. She smokes, she drinks, she rides a motorbike fearlessly anywhere with a rifle strapped to her back. She watches as the black servants she loved are spurned by the white population, watches as her mother snd father are feuding and destroying their once ideal relationship, watches as her mother loses her sanity as the war escalates. I thought it was a thoughtful, meaningful film with lots of insight and messages. It is based on a book by the same name and I suspect is autobiographical, the author being that 8-year-old girl. 92...

There was previously a movie with the same title as the one I saw on Monday, and I'm not certain if this was meant as a sequel or intended to stand alone with its inadequacies. I don't recall seeing the other one; I just hope it wasn't as dumb and predictable as this one. Five young people are driving on a country road and cause an accident that kills someone, and they leave the scene without trying to help and pledge not to tell anyone about it. Then, the real horror movie starts when a hooded character in black appears and starts killing them one-by-one in violent ways. They assume it's revenge killings. Peopled with actors I have never seen before and have no desire to see again, they plot to find out who is after them, and lo and behold, it turns out to be some other actor I have never seen and who hasn't been in the movie until now. I don't think it was a  particularly good horror film, and it certainly didn't scare me. It was another summer movie loser...

I realized today that I had mis-numbered my last couple of reviews.  Sorry about that. Yesterday I saw a film  I hope to forget quickly.  EDDINGTON is a small town in New Mexico in which the sherif, played by Joaquin Phoenix, an Academy Award-winning actor best known for his roles as unconventional characters (The Joker, for example), who is in a feud with the mayor and launches a campaign to replace him. Phoenix is not as unconventional as the residents in his town. They are protesting a surfeit of social, political, environmental, mental, emotional, racial and ethnic issues separately and together, and they're getting rowdy and violent about these causes, none of which likely exist in this tiny rural hamlet. There is also a rift in the community regarding the wearing of masks in the midst of the Covid outbreak. The place seems so remote from the rest of the world you wonder how anyone could have contracted Covid (at least I did). Things go from bad to worse wh...

I saw SUPERMAN yesterday and something's definitely wrong. It's not the super hero I recall from 1978 when I was only 49 years old. The new Superman is a reasonable looking guy with s deep voice, BUT, he's vulnerable! He gets knocked down a lot, he gets beaten up, he bleeds!!! And worse, he's in a really romantic relationship with Lois Lane and she actually knows he poses as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for the Daily Planet. I never liked Margot Kidder as Lois, so the new girl is a vast improvement BUT the new Lex Luther can't hold a candle to Gene Hackman, the original villainous troublemaker. Actually, I did like the latest version despite all. It was exciting; he flies faster than Reeves and he capably saves the world despite his shortcomings. The sets were fun, the action exciting and the special effects special. The simple plot is Superman, in spite of his ineptness, saves the world again. 83% of critics and 93% of audiences gave the man of steel a thumbs...

The movie I saw the other day was like seeing an old friend you haven't seen in a while and you notice he hasn't changed a bit. That's how JURASSIC WORLD REBIRTH seemed to me. It is a well done movie with the usual set of mammoth creatures coping with a new set of humans interacting with them. It has all the roars and other noises these creatures make, and all of the dangers facing those who confront them. In the latest version, the world has changed and no-one has any interest in such creatures. Scientists have discovered that fluid taken from the three versions still around that swim, fly and roam the land will produce a vaccine that will cure just about any disease humans manage to inflict on themselves. A team is dispatched to extract the fluid, led by a tough woman who claims to be in charge of security but who I suspect really might just be a soldier of fortune. Another team member is a scientist and a third was director of the defunct creature museum. They are joined...

Talk about a confusing and complex plot, with too many twists and turns. M3GAN 2.0 wins the blue  ribbon.  This a sci-fi movie with dialogue that numbs your brain with technological terminology galore.  But the bottom line, I concluded, is it is an attempt to philosophically resolve how AI and the human race should relate in the future without dooming the world.  It focuses on Gemma, a brilliant technician and author who is trying to steer a reasonable but misguided course, but is stymied by the appearance of Amelia, an AI-produced killing machine unleashed on society by a menacing group intent on ruling the world. M3gsn is resurrected to defeat Amelia, and I will leave it to your imagination as to what happens.  The movie is violent and destructive and loud and endless, but it kept me awake and in my seat for the hour and 59 minutes it lasted. But that doesn't mean I liked it. 82% of audiences gave it a thumbs up, along with 58% of critics.