Old Man @ The Movies

As May comes to a close and another summer season of movies is about to start, I saw another film. I know I get carried away sometimes in my often cruel treatment of film stars, but I write what I think, and that's not going to change. I hope this was the last time I have to watch little Tommy Cruise do things that no one has the right to do--over and over.  MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: THE FINAL RECKONING is another film I felt I had seen before.  Little Tommy doing things with his shirt on or off that no one is his right mind would attempt, and you are seduced into believing it happened. And it doesn't just happen once; it continues throughout the entire 2 hours and 49 minutes. Once again little Tommy is called upon to save the world, this time from a thing called the Entity. And this action-filled, endless, exciting movie culminates in an extraordinary calisthenic scene involving two WWI vintage biplanes and little Tommy hanging on for dear life as he leaps from one plane to the oth...

Yesterday, my theater complex was filled with patrons including many young kids. I was confident that my theater wouldn't be crowded. They were there to see the blockbusters: Mission Impossible, Lilo and Stitch, Thunderbolts, and Final Destination. I chose FRIENDSHIP, described on the theater's website as a comedy and some of the audience laughed at times. In my dotage, I must have lost my sense of humor because I saw nothing remotely funny about this film. I would describe it as weird, with a capital W. As near as I can figure the plot, a young man in suburbia delivers mail to a neighbor (the mailman had mistakenly delivered it to him) and instantly is attracted to him. I suspected it was going to turn into a film about homosexuals. But no, it turned into an agglomeration of meaningless scenes in a variety of settings, in which the star, Tim Robinson (known by one of my grandsons) behaves in a manic and worse manner.  I had already lost interest in this film so I honestly am u...

Wow! What a contrast! After what felt like an endless array of horror films, I saw one that was 100% opposite. It was an old fashioned drama, a cowboy movie about family and love, devotion and sacrifice, faith and redemption, and I liked it. Even through it was obviously faith-based, it didn't overwhelm you or overdo it. THE LAST RODEO is the heartwarming story of a widowed former world champion bull rider who lives on a ranch with his daughter and grandson. When it is discovered that the grandson has a brain tumor (the same thing that took his wife), the costs involved with the operation are more than they can afford. He decides, against his daughter's strenuous objections, to compete in the upcoming world championship rodeo many years after he suffered a near fatal injury, which his daughter nursed him through. It's a story of courage we have seen lots of times but it worked once more in this film that was poignant and exciting. After the ending, the star (grandfather) ma...

Another day, another horror film.  But this one was more palatable than others.  It actually had a plot, it was scarier than others, and was comprehensible, at least for a horror film. UNTIL DAWN follows the adventures of Clover and her post teen friends as they embark on a trip to find out what happened to Clover's twin sister, who disappeared in a remote area.  En route they query a geezer who tells them where a number of people seem to have disappeared.  Is the term geezer acceptable or socially disrespectful?  I suspect I am looked on as a geezer and am not offended by that designation. Sorry for digressing. They drive through a heavy rainstorm into a sun-drenched clearing and realize they are surrounded by a circle of rain. There is a large house, deserted of course, but we know there has to be someone in there. In one room they find a wall of photos with no ID but labeled "missing"and the fun starts there. Every night one or more of the group is grotesquel...

I saw another horror movie today, even though I promised myself I wouldn't see another one. But about 85 per cent of new films seem to be horror movies, and they just don't scare me any more. This is the story of Quinn, a teenager, who reluctantly moves with her doctor father to a small town named Kettle Springs to start over after the death of her mother to an overdose. Her classmates are toilet mouths who fill her in on the downhill slide of the town after the corn syrup factory burned down. Teens and adults in the town are unsavory and nothing really happens until Frendo, a clown, comes in from the cornfield and starts bumping people off—mostly grotesquely with a chain saw. I'll let you draw your own conclusions about the ending. Amateur acting, directed by a man who obviously specializes in horror films....bad ones!  But 73% of critics and 61% of audiences gave Clown a thumbs up. I suspect they can't get enough of them to satisfy their need for the genre.

Pickings were lean and there was little to chose from in my local theater yesterday. The one I chose was boring, and I should have left after five minutes, but stayed for an hour and then walked out after having slept through most of it. I didn't even like the title, HURRY UP TOMORROW, which in retrospect didn't make much sense either. The plot, according to the theater website is "a musician, plagued by insomnia, is pulled into an odyssey with a stranger who begins to unravel the very core of his existence," which makes no sense to me at all. The musician and all around him probably would have been better off if they had been institutionalized.  But that's all I took from this film. Critics agreed with me, with only 13% thumbs upping it, along with 72% of audiences, who obviously understood more than we did. You are warned.  

Okay, I confess. I'm an incurable romantic, and the movie I saw yesterday satisfied me completely. Yes, it's the old story of star-crossed lovers, and it was charming. The title stars are, to me, two unknowns, although Clara Rugaard, a young Danish actress seems to have appeared in a number of movies and TV shows, none of which I ever saw, and Romeo is played by Jamie Ward, s young Australian who mostly performed in Australian and English productions. It follows the classic Shakespearean play, but it is a musical, with pop songs and dancing which I found fun to see. No Shakespeare language but kind of an imitation which works and a profound change in the end. The stars were refreshing and wholesome, the choreography and songs worked,  the rest of the cast was very good and the sets looked authentic and well done. I liked it a lot, and so did the audiences (83% thumbs up).  Critics seemed unimpressed, with only 24% giving it a thumbs up. I wonder what film they were watching. I...

There was a movie a couple of years ago entitled Dumb & Dumber which I hope I never saw. The movie I saw yesterday deserves that title but instead was entitled FIGHT OR FLIGHT, which was somewhat descriptive of the action in the movie. I confess I had to read what was on the theater's website to learn what the movie was all about. It seems the the main character is Lucas, a former government agent, who is given a last assignment to redeem himself. The assignment?  To find and identify a mysterious international  assassin known only as The Ghost on a flight from Bangladesh to San Francisco. His assignment is complicated because all the other passengers are assassins from all over the world with orders to kill Lucas and The Ghost. Most of the hour and 37 minute dumb-fest is then filled up by Lucas and the other passengers and the female flight attendants beating reach other up viciously, with the formable flight attendants being the most vicious of all. After this descriptio...

I am beginning to believe that Hollywood is going to create a new Academy Award for the film that exhibits the most rounds of ammunition fired and the most explosive devices set off.  The movie I saw yesterday would certainly be a nominee. This one hour and 44 minute display of violence called SHADOW FORCE stars someone, Kerry Washington, whose name I recognize (but nothing else about her) as the wife of a husband and wife team who used to be members of an elite special forces group, known as the Shadow Force, who fell in love and had to leave the group and go into hiding with their young, sassy son. They, of course, are pursued at the behest of the group's new leader with evil ambition and ideas, and we are treated to lengthy weapon and martial arts encounters. And you should be happy to know that Kerry, her husband and Mr. Sassy survive.  Only 33% of critics and 82% of audiences gave this one a thumbs up.  It's a silly stinker!