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The Naked Gun (#712)

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The movie I saw on Sunday began its life as a TV series on television way back when and starred comic Leslie Nielsen as a bumbling detective named Frank Drebin, a member of an elite unit known as the Police Squad. It was funny and silly and relied heavily on sight gags and ridiculous actions and banter.  Costarring with him were actors and non-actors such as Priscilla Presley, O.J, Simpson, George Kennedy and many other familiar faces--funny and otherwise. The latest version of THE NAKED GUN stars decrepit Liam Neeson as Frank Drebin, Jr., also a member of the elite unit Police Squad. I can promise you that Neeson is no Nielsen, not even close. Even such performers as my favorites Tom Cruise and Tom Hanks would have been better choices. As the equally bumbling son, he isn't very good and neither is the film, which tries hard to emulate its predecessors. And while I would have liked for it to work, it didn't, although there were a few rare instances when I found myself laughing ...
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Together (#711)

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The theater's description of TOGETHER sounded promising. A young couple have reached a point in their relationship that called for a change from their comfortable life in the city, so they move to a house in the country. Their first foray into the woods surrounding the  house finds them falling into a deep ditch, filled with artifacts and they end up getting painfully stuck to one another. And things go from  worse to extreme weirdness. Their relationship is definitely going downhill, and both begin to act irrationally, such as when he arrives at the school where she teaches and they engage in a passionate lovemaking session in the limited confines of a bathroom stall and, you knew what was coming, they get stuck together in a most compromising and awkward position.  And it gets even weirder after that—too weird to write about. I think the writer, director and all associated with this movie need multiple sessions with a psychiatrist or even a long stay in a mental institu...
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House on Eden (#710)

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As I predicted, the movies got worse as the week went on. Three terrible actors inhabit this HOUSE ON EDEN playing the part of paranormals, supposedly continuing to seek new adventures in weirdness, this time investigating a deserted house in the middle of nowhere, and filming their adventure. The male member of the threesome claimed to be a photographer, but handled a camera as poorly as I did when taking home movies years ago, switching scenes so quickly, I was getting an upset stomach. The leader demands they try to communicate with the entity they believe occupies this house, but by that time I didn't care what they did as long as they ended the movie. Stay away from this stinker; its smell followed me out of the theater. Critics agreed: Only 27% gave it a thumbs ups and audiences chose not to rate it.
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Oh, Hi! (#709)

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The movies seem to get worse as the week goes on.  Yesterday's film, OH, HI!, is described as a comedy but it really was not funny. I'd describe it as a sexual drama, maybe tragedy. A young couple, Iris and Isaac,  are driving away for their first romantic weekend together to a rental house in the country. He proposes that he handcuff her to the bed for a new sexual experience and she agrees, but after she is handcuffed, she changes her mind and proposes to do it to him. He allows her to fasten both hands and feet to the bed and in their conversation he admits he's been with other women and she complains that she has thought of him as the only one and leaves the room in anger and hurt. She calls her best friend to help her resolve the situation and Max shows up with her boyfriend or husband. And it goes further downhill from there. I admit I stayed to the bitter end, hoping that something would happen to redeem the picture but it didn't. I also admit that I left THE HOM...
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The Home (#708)

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It was obvious from the previews that the theater I was in specialized in horror films, because each preview was filled with screams, discordant sound and terrible loud music. The movie I saw yesterday was of that genre, and may have risen to the new level of bad films, horror or otherwise. THE HOME featured a young man who was expelled from college for bad and destructive behavior and was sentenced to spend several months as a helper in a retirement home, warned that the fourth floor was off limits and was populated by special cases. How could Matt, the young man, resist visiting there after hearing strange  sounds from upstairs? Everyone in the theater knew he should't explore, but this was a horror movie and the task irresistible. You could predict the consequences, couldn't you. I don't have anything more to report. This one hour and 27 minute monstrosity only got 6 critic reviews and all were thumbs up.  Audiences shied away from any reviews. You should be aware that I...
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